modernhuge said: Thanks for posting Family And Friends. Just bought that beautiful EP!

Awesome! They’re one of the many gems I’ve unearthed digging through Daytrotter. Some sessions render me completely useless as I sit in my cubicle transfixed or weeping instead of working—this one did both & nearly had me dancing as well. 🙆

I can not get this album off repeat. I don’t see why I’d want too. My life is affirmed, my lips are curling higher, and my heart is thumping on the upbeats again. This is what music should be. Stream/Buy on Bandcamp.

Family and Friends — “My Life, My Love”

Well I’ve been staring a hole in the sky, 
I keep wasting my time wondering, 
Of all the places I could be, 
I am not, 

Who I was, in the dreams, 
We dare to dream when we are young, 
One day, we wake up and we become, 
Something different. 

We are the sums of our decisions, 
The fruit of our ambitions, 
A grain of sand a drop in the ocean, 
Oh, what a trying notion. 

Lately these days I cant help but get this feeling I am sinking, 
And the ground beneath my feet, I think, is starting to believe me, 
I try to run but I don’t know how, 
All my thoughts are made of doubt, 
And the silence steals the words from my mouth, 
I guess I have not been myself for some while now. 

Oh my life, my love, can you hear me? 
Can you hear me? 
My heart is strong, but my will is wearing weary, 
I’m leaving, come morning, 
I said I’m leaving, come morning, 
I’ll be gone. 
It wont be long, till I belong. 

Well I’ve been pacing this tile for a while now, 
I keep wasting my time wondering, 
Why some hearts beat harder, 
And two can love in so many different ways, 
Or you can love just one your whole life long, 
When they don’t feel the same, 
Love, I’m only asking, 
If it’s funny then why aren’t you laughing? 
Love, I’m only asking, 

Oh my life, my love, I am sorry, 
I am sorry, 
For the things I have said and I have done, 
See, all my life I’ve hurt the ones, 
See, all my life I’ve hurt the ones I love, 
But it was not my intention. 

And the wolves keep showing their teeth at me, 
And the Holy Ghost is keeping close, 
He says the love will come, but it won’t come easy. 

And I can’t help but think, 
There must be something I am missing, 
See when I lay my head to sleep, a voice inside keeps whispering, 
He says, are you where you want to be? 
Are you where you want to be? 
Are you where you’re wanting now to go? 
No? 

Oh this heavy heart is missing you around, 
It’s missing you around. 
But I won’t let it weigh me down. 

Oh this heavy heart is missing you around, 
It’s missing you around. 
But I won’t let it weigh me down. 

And oh, this time is taking its time on me, 
Its time on me. 

See, when I lay my head to sleep, a voice inside keeps whispering, 
He says are you where you want to be? 
Are you where you want to be? 
You see, the love will come, but it won’t come easy.

(Source: Spotify)

Excerpts from Gay Hendricks’s “Five Wishes”

The bigger the question, he said, the more important it is to answer it right now. This moment is all the time you need. It’s the only one we have.

—————————————————

  • Don’t settle for anything less than what you really want.
  • Be wary about accepting offers of safety and security at the expense of your own creative freedom. Once you trade your freedom for the illusion of security, you have a hard time ever getting your freedom back.
  • Follow your heart, and your life will be blessed with unexpected favors.

—————————————————

And, perhaps most important, we sabotaged our good feeling because we simply didn’t have much practice feeling good for any substantial length of time. The history of humanity, as well as our personal histories, teaches us a lot about adversity and how to deal with it but very little about how to feel good and maintain that feeling.

—————————————————

As I pondered this question I began to see through the words and concepts about Jesus and Christianity. Words can cause conflict; people can argue for centuries about concepts. But underneath all the words and argument there must be something essential and pure and true. I began to wonder: What is the experience that underlies it all? Maybe the experience is so strong that people can only handle a little bit of it before they withdraw from it into the world of words, concepts, and conflict. Maybe theh actual genuine experience is so powerful it makes some people crazy. At the other extreme, people withdraw into boredom because they fear the power of the experience.

Excerpts from Nick Hornby’s “A Long Way Down”

There was, it is fair to say, less reason for ledge-sitting before all that happened. So don’t tell me that the balance of my mind was disturbed, because it really didn’t feel that way. (What does it mean, anyway, that stuff about “the balance of the mind”? Is it strictly scientific? Does the mind really wobble up and down in the head like some sort of fish-scale, according to how loopy you are?) Wanting to kill myself was an appropriate and reasonable response to a whole series of unfortunate events that had rendered life unlivable.

—————————————————

Most people get suicide, I guess; most people, even if it’s hidden deep down inside somewhere, can remember a time in their lives when they thought about whether they really wanted to wake up the next day. Wanting to die seems like it might be part of being alive.

—————————————————

They spoke quickly, Martin and Jess and JJ. Like people in a soap opera, bang bang bang. Like people who know what to say. I could never have spoken that quickly, not then, anyway; it made me realize that I’d hardly spoken at all for twenty-odd years. And the person I spoke to most couldn’t speak back.

—————————————————

Maybe that’s what we all need, whether we’re suicidal or not. Maybe life is just too big a gap to be plugged by filler, so we need anything we can get our hands on—sanders and planers, fifteen-year-olds, whatever—to fill it up.

—————————————————

People go on about places like Starbucks being unpersonal and all that, but what if that’s what you want? I’d be lost if JJ and people like that got their way, and there was nothing unpersonal in the world. I like to know that there are big places without windows where no one gives a shit. You need confidence to go into small places with regular customers—small bookshops and small music shops and small restaurants and cafes. I’m happiest in the Virgin Megastore and Borders and Starbucks and PizzaExpress, where no one gives a shit, and no one knows who you are. My mum and dad are always going on about how soulless those places are, and I’m like Der. That’s the point.

—————————————————

I thought I couldn’t go wrong with Nick Drake, especially in a room full of people who’ve got the blues. If you haven’t heard him… Man, it’s like he boiled down all the melancholy in the world, all the bruises and all the fucked-up dreams you’ve let go, and poured the essence into a little tiny bottle and corked it up. And when he starts to play and sing, he takes the cork out, and you can smell it. You’re pinned into your seat, as if it’s a wall of noise, but it’s not—it’s still, and quiet, and you don’t want to breathe in case you frighten it away.

—————————————————

This is how I feel, every day, and people don’t want to know that. They want to know that I’m feeling what Tom Jones makes you feel. Or that Australian girl who used to be in Neighbours. But I feel like this, and they won’t play what I feel on the radio, because people that are sad don’t fit in.

—————————————————

And you probably also know that when you look out of an aeroplane window and see the world shrink like that, you can’t help but think about the whole of your life, from the beginning until where you are now, and everyone you’ve ever known. And you’ll know that thinking about those things makes you feel grateful to God for providing them, and angry with Him for not helping you to understand them better, and so you end up in a terrible muddle and needing to talk to a priest.

—————————————————

There must be a lot of that goes on. There must be people who kill themselves because their marriage is over, and others who kill themselves because they can’t see a way out of the one they’re in. I wondered whether you could do that with everyone, whether every unhappy situation had an unhappy opposite situation. I couldn’t see it with the people who had debts, though. No one ever killed himself because he had too much money.

—————————————————

We all spend so much time not saying what we want, because we know we can’t have it. And because it sounds ungracious, or ungrateful, or disloyal, or childish, or banal. Or because we’re so desperate to pretend that things are OK, really, that confessing to ourselves they’re not looks like a bad move. Go on, say what you want. … Whatever it is, say it to yourself. The truth will set you free. Either that or it’ll get you a punch in the nose. Surviving in whatever life you’re living means lying, and lying corrodes the soul, so take a break from the lies just for one minute.”

—————————————————

Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.

Family and Friends - “Of Lovers and Liars”

My father, my mother if this is the last that you hear of me
It’s not for lack of covering my tracks I am leaving
For where sky meets the sea
Please, do not fear for me

Like a furnace fueled by flame the feeling was festering
And a sense of shame and my wanting ways got the best of me
So bloody my lips and blacken my eyes
Show me your fists, teach me to fight

And there is nothing that I would not do
And there is nothing that I would not do
To prove myself
To prove my love for you

I’ve been searching for answers in the bottom of my glass
To questions I’m too scared to ask
In the pocket of my coat I carry my flask
To inspire the courage I lack

See, I want to tell you I love you, but I don’t know how
See, I want to love you, but I don’t know how

When all my love is a lie
When all my love is a lie
And silence, the truth’s disguise

Well, even the sunset will someday rise
And you will know love
Oh, you will know patience with time

Feel it in my bones, voices from below
Saying if you love her, let her go
Feel it in my bones, voices from below
Saying if you love her, let her go
But I was born a stubborn soul
My vices are my own



My brother, my sister if this is the last that you hear of me
It’s not for lack of love or the feeling wearing weary
Please, do not fear for me

See I have been patient most my life
See I have been patient most my life
And today may be the day I die
Today may be the day I die

(Source: Spotify)

worldcafe:

File under “things we love.” Conor Oberst revisited “Lua” from 2004’s I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning, but this time he’s backed by First Aid Kit and Taylor Goldsmith of Dawes. The gorgeous rendition comes from a Cardinal Session recorded at Haldern Pop Festival.

I love this song and I love each of these musicians. I saw them all perform on the same stage weeks apart this summer, but I couldn’t have imagined the sheer and perfect beauty of this performance, blending impressively intricate harmonies over superbly subdued guitar work.

"A woman from the audience asks: ‘Why were there so few women among the Beat writers?’ and [Gregory] Corso, suddenly utterly serious, leans forward and says: “There were women, they were there, I knew them, their families put them in institutions, they were given electric shock. In the ’50s if you were male you could be a rebel, but if you were female your families had you locked up."

Stephen Scobie, on the Naropa Institute’s 1994 tribute to Allen Ginsberg  (via thisisendless)

FUCK

(via femmeboyant)

I’m just frozen. Absences of women in history don’t “just happen,” they are made.

(via queereyes-queerminds)

irresponsiblewanderlustofthesoul (via love-some-gallifrey-boys)

We talked about this in my American literature course for about two seconds. When I asked the professor why there were no female poets on our syllabus from that era he just said “there was nothing really of note”.

(via ninfia)

fuck that shit kids. Hunt it out because there’s some incredible stuff out there

(via judearaya)

(Source: fuckyeahbeatniks, via kristinetuna)

The peace that comes?
Too often I forget
to notice it.

The peace that comes?
Too often I forget
to notice it.

tylerknott:

Typewriter Series #877 by Tyler Knott Gregson
*Pre-Order my book, Chasers of the Light, and donate $2 to @TWLOHA and get a free book plate signed by me :)  Click the link in my bio, or go here:  tylerknott.com/chasers*

tylerknott:

Typewriter Series #877 by Tyler Knott Gregson

*Pre-Order my book, Chasers of the Light, and donate $2 to @TWLOHA and get a free book plate signed by me :)  Click the link in my bio, or go here:  tylerknott.com/chasers*

newyorker:

What is it like to be keenly intelligent and to care deeply about science and animal life—but to feel absolutely alienated from even the simplest human emotions and interactions? In one of Atul Gawande’s favorite pieces from the archive, Oliver Sacks asks what Temple Grandin’s experiences can tell us about the enigma of autism.
Photograph by Laura Wilson.

newyorker:

What is it like to be keenly intelligent and to care deeply about science and animal life—but to feel absolutely alienated from even the simplest human emotions and interactions? In one of Atul Gawande’s favorite pieces from the archive, Oliver Sacks asks what Temple Grandin’s experiences can tell us about the enigma of autism.

Photograph by Laura Wilson.

(Source: newyorker.com)

deardarkness:

Nothing goes over my head

Literal doesn’t understand metaphors Drax is the best

(Source: miniclaws)

"

You’ve made just enough safe choices to stay alive but not enough to matter. Is that what you want? You can be more. You want to be more, don’t you?

The window of opportunity is closing. This is your chance. This is not about not losing. This is about you finally having the confidence to walk out on the ledge and know that you’re not going to fall.

"

— "Halt and Catch Fire,” S01E01

I Want to Write a Letter

I want to write a letter
To someone whose heart
Will melt at my words,
Whose eyes will blink long
With understanding,
Whose lips will curl
Ever so slightly
Upward in delight.

I want to send my words
To where they’ll touch another soul
At the core of our shared existence,
But I don’t know where to address them.

worldcafe:

Genius!  “…it’s not just geography that’s limited people from hearing rock ‘n’ roll. For those living in the U.S.S.R. at the time, Stalin’s government had totally restricted the dissemination of Western music. But there was one group of people called “stilyagi” (or “hipsters,” as we’d call them today) who were able to effectively distribute and keep such music alive in the Soviet Union using one of the sneakiest, most inventive ways imaginable: They’d press records on disposed X-Rays, which they collected en masse from hospital dumpsters.” - coslive

Whatever it takes.

worldcafe:

Genius!  “…it’s not just geography that’s limited people from hearing rock ‘n’ roll. For those living in the U.S.S.R. at the time, Stalin’s government had totally restricted the dissemination of Western music. But there was one group of people called “stilyagi” (or “hipsters,” as we’d call them today) who were able to effectively distribute and keep such music alive in the Soviet Union using one of the sneakiest, most inventive ways imaginable: They’d press records on disposed X-Rays, which they collected en masse from hospital dumpsters.” - coslive

Whatever it takes.

Random thoughts from my latest superfan excursion to NYC

Yesterday, I traveled to NYC to see Mercy Bell play live, in person, for the first time, after having listened to her album repeatedly over the last two years and watched her play a few StageIt shows. It was a rainy, overcast day, but the weather never dampened my mood as I caught up with good friends, met a few stars from the Brooklyn indie music galaxy, and enjoyed entertainment that still has me smiling widely.

I’m setting down a selection of the random thoughts from the day, in the hope that they won’t leave my memory too soon:

  • Shakespeare & Co. Book Sellers on Broadway have a giant selection of film guides and memoirs and screenplays. Makes sense, though, given their proximity to NYU.
  • The gentleman in the Starbucks restroom line who regaled me with tales of his old friend Ed (presumably H. Edward Roberts, h/t Google) who invented the PC that made my smartphone (& countless other staples of our modern life) possible also told me he’d ridden his bike 6000 miles across the country.
  • This was only my second time in this part of the city, but I was already able to give directions. Of course, when the question is where is 1st and we’re standing on 4th, it wasn’t all that challenging.
  • Seeing a photo- and people-loving artist you’ve followed on social media for years play a rare show in a city she used to call home is like walking into Instagram, with so many vaguely familiar faces suddenly in 3D.
  • When the sound guy asks if you want a tuner mid-set, you’d do well to accept the offer. (Referencing Joe Marson, who played after Mercy; tbh, I didn’t hear much difference, but you’ve got to trust the pro, right?)